360+ Funny Monday Quotes to Start Your Week with a Laugh! 😂

Mondays are tough. Everyone feels it.

The weekend fun is over. The alarm clock is louder. Coffee can’t work fast enough.

But laughing helps. A funny quote can flip your whole mood.

This list has 360+ quotes that make Monday less awful.

Scroll, smile, and share the laughs.

Top Hilarious Monday Quotes 😂

1. Monday called… I sent it to voicemail. 📞🙅‍♂️
2. Is it just me, or is Monday always extra Monday-ish? 🤔😩
3. I swear it was Friday five minutes ago! 🕔➡️😱
4. If Monday had a face, I’d slap it. 👋😤
5. Mondays are proof that weekends are too short. 💤🧠
6. I need coffee, not questions. ☕❌❓
7. Mondays are like math… I don’t get it. ➕➖😵
8. Today’s forecast: 100% chance of Monday. ☁️☕
9. Monday again? Who signed off on this? 📝🙄
10. I’m allergic to Mondays. 🤧📅
11. Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday? 😩↔️😍
12. Monday is the hangover of the week. 🍻➡️🤕
13. I whisper “why” every Monday morning. 😶‍🌫️❓
14. I haven’t had my coffee yet, don’t make Monday worse. 😠☕
15. Monday… I see you trying to sneak in. 🚪👀
16. This Monday needs a warning label. ⚠️📆
17. Mondays are like Mondays—never good. 😑
18. My bed and I have a special relationship. It’s just Monday trying to ruin it. 🛏️💔
19. Someone hit snooze on the week. 💤🔁
20. Mondays are the worst kind of deja vu. 🔁😒
21. I survived another Monday… barely. 😅
22. I’m 90% coffee and 10% Monday regret. ☕😬
23. Monday is my cardio. 🏃‍♀️😓
24. My face says “ready,” my heart says “not Monday.” 😐💔
25. Keep calm… it’s just a Monday. Or scream. Either works. 😶😱
26. Mondays feel like getting socks for Christmas. 🎁🧦😑
27. Monday is the villain of the week. 🦹‍♂️📆
28. Every Monday I hit snooze like it’s a sport. 💤🏅
29. Mondays should come with a mute button. 🔇😫
30. Monday skipped its chill pill. 😬💊
31. Even my coffee needs coffee on Monday. ☕☕
32. Monday stole my weekend joy. 😠🎉
33. Woke up, saw it was Monday, went back to sleep. 🛏️😴
34. The only good thing about Monday is… wait, let me think. 🤔🤷‍♀️
35. Monday: the reason I have trust issues. 😑💔
36. If Monday were a person, it’d be the office snitch. 😒🗣️
37. Just survived another Monday without biting anyone. 🧟‍♂️🙃
38. Monday? Nope. Try again tomorrow. 🔁😴
39. My weekend left, and Monday moved in. 🏃‍♂️➡️📆
40. Dear Monday, we need to see other days. 💔📅

Also Read: Caption Cute Child Play Quotes

Funny Monday Morning Quotes 🌅

1. Monday morning: the hangover without the fun. 🤕🍻
2. Alarm clocks and I are not on speaking terms. ⏰😠
3. Can I hit snooze on the entire day? 💤📆
4. Morning people on Mondays are suspicious. 😒😄
5. I woke up today. That’s enough achievement for a Monday. 🏆🛏️
6. If Mondays were shoes, they’d be crocs. 🥿😆
7. That awkward moment when you realize it’s Monday again. 😩😬
8. Monday mornings are made for strong coffee and weak expectations. ☕📉
9. I need a Monday-sized nap. 🛌😪
10. Even my thoughts are still in bed. 🧠🛏️
11. It’s Monday morning and my brain left the chat. 📴🧠
12. A yawn is a silent scream for more weekend. 😴🙃
13. Coffee: because Monday morning. ☕😫
14. Monday mornings should come with free hugs and pizza. 🤗🍕
15. I wasn’t made for Monday mornings. Or mornings. Or Mondays. 😵
16. My bed misses me already. 🛏️💔
17. I need a warning before Monday shows up. ⚠️📅
18. Coffee is my spirit animal on Mondays. 🦉☕
19. Mondays are like speed bumps on the highway of life. 🛣️🛑
20. Monday morning? Hard pass. ❌🌄
21. I smiled… then remembered it’s Monday. 😄➡️😐
22. Do we really need seven days in a week? 🧐📆
23. Monday morning hits harder than my gym workout. 💪😩
24. One Monday morning, I’ll be ready. Today is not that day. ⏳😅
25. I snoozed my alarm so many times, it gave up. 🔁😴
26. Rise and whine—it’s Monday! 🌅😫
27. Who decided Mondays should start in the morning? 🤯🌞
28. I like Mondays the same way I like root canals. 😬🦷
29. My “get up and go” got up and left. 🛌🏃‍♀️
30. Wake me up when it’s Friday. 😴📆
31. If Monday had a smell, it’d be burnt toast. 🍞😷
32. Monday mornings are why I believe in naps. 💤☕
33. The only thing rising on Monday morning is my blood pressure. 😤📈
34. I was fine until Monday showed up. 🧘😒
35. Mondays need a snooze button for life. 🔁📅
36. Good morning? No, just morning. ☀️😑
37. My Monday face is also my “don’t talk to me” face. 😐🚫
38. If sleep is money, Monday robs me. 🛏️💸
39. “Ugh” is my Monday morning mantra. 🧘‍♂️😫
40. Is it too early to go back to bed? 🛌🕘

Funny Monday Motivation Quotes 💪😂

1. Crush Monday? First, let me crush this donut. 🍩😄
2. New week, same tired me. 😴💼
3. Be strong… or just pretend till lunch. 🍽️😅
4. Hustle mode: loading… slowly. 🐢🔋
5. Start Monday with a smile—and three cups of coffee. ☕😁☕
6. Don’t let Monday win. Be louder than your alarm. 🔔🎤
7. You can do anything. Except make Monday disappear. ✨🙃
8. Motivation on Monday? I left it in bed. 🛏️💭
9. Rise and grind… or at least rise. 😩🔁
10. Go get it! Unless “it” is Monday. Then run. 🏃‍♂️❌
11. Mondays are for strong coffee and fake confidence. ☕🎭
12. Be the sparkle in Monday’s gloom. ✨🌧️
13. If Monday doesn’t motivate you, bribe yourself with snacks. 🍫🤷‍♀️
14. Mondays don’t scare me—I scare Mondays. 😎💥
15. You got this. Even if “this” is just making it to 10 a.m. 🕙💪
16. Monday’s a fresh start. Said no one ever. 🙄🔄
17. Get up, dress up, show up, shut up. 💼😆
18. It’s Monday. You can either rise or hit snooze. Your choice. ⏰😅
19. Monday is like leg day. No one likes it, but we survive. 🏋️😫
20. Shine like your coffee’s extra strong. ☕💫
21. Slay the day—or at least survive it. 🐉🛡️
22. Start where you are… just not before coffee. ☕🛑
23. Dream big. Nap bigger. 😴🌠
24. Mondays are tough, but so are you. Barely. 😬💪
25. You can’t spell Monday without “no.” 🚫📅
26. Work hard, nap harder. 💤💼
27. Be like a Monday. No one likes you, but you still show up. 😆📅
28. Coffee is cheaper than therapy. ☕🛋️
29. Monday is temporary. But memes are forever. 📱🤣
30. Keep calm and kick Monday’s butt. 🍑👟
31. Be awesome today. Or just pretend really well. 😎🎭
32. Wake. Slay. Complain. Repeat. 🔁😤
33. The only thing rising on Monday is your caffeine level. ☕⬆️
34. You’re a warrior. A sleepy, unmotivated warrior. 🛡️😴
35. Your vibe attracts your tribe—so hide till Tuesday. 😅🙈
36. When life gives you Monday, add sugar and stir. 🍬☕
37. Own your Monday like you own your Netflix account. 📺💼
38. Just a girl standing in front of Monday, asking it to go away. 🙋‍♀️😭
39. Forget sparkle—survive. 💫➡️🛡️
40. Motivation is just Monday spelled differently. Not really. 😄📝

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Funny Monday Work Quotes 🖥️🤣

1. Monday at work: the sequel no one asked for. 🎬📆
2. I came. I saw. I made coffee. ☕🏃‍♂️
3. Work hard? I’m still buffering. 💻⏳
4. Mondays are proof work is a scam. 🧐💸
5. I love deadlines—especially the whooshing sound they make. 🚀📅
6. My job on Monday: look busy, stay sleepy. 😴🖱️
7. Mondays at work are just adulting in hard mode. 🎮💼
8. Dear boss, I quit… mentally. 🤯✌️
9. Office mood: powered by sarcasm and coffee. ☕😒
10. Zoom call at 8am? Monday, you’re cruel. 🧑‍💻😭
11. Who needs enemies when you have coworkers on Monday? 🤦‍♂️🗣️
12. Monday is just Friday’s evil twin. 😈👯‍♀️
13. I need a raise… in nap time. 🛏️📈
14. Email overload: Monday’s love letter. 💌😵
15. Monday: where emails go to multiply. 📧📧📧
16. First rule of Monday work: never open Outlook before coffee. 📬☕
17. My job title today: Barely Functioning Human. 😵💻
18. “Do something productive.” Okay, I’ll refill my coffee. ☕👍
19. Meetings on Monday should be illegal. 🛑🧑‍⚖️
20. Workplace: where dreams go to nap. 😪💼
21. If Monday had a job, it’d be HR. 😅📂
22. I’m not lazy. I’m on Monday energy-saving mode. 🔋😆
23. Monday’s biggest task? Not screaming. 😬🔇
24. You know it’s Monday when even the coffee is tired. ☕😩
25. My WiFi is faster than me on Mondays. 🌐🐢
26. I used to love my job… until Monday. 😕💔
27. Goals for Monday: survive, reply to 1 email, breathe. 📧😅
28. Work hard. Or just stare at your screen with purpose. 👀💻
29. Dress for the job you want—pajamas allowed? 😴👚
30. Mondays were made to test our will to live. 😫🧪
31. Is it Friday yet? No? Then don’t talk to me. 🚫🗓️
32. Monday = “Where did the weekend go?” syndrome. 🤷‍♂️📅
33. I give 100% at work—10% on Monday, 90% by Friday. 📊🙃
34. My desk needs a snack drawer and a nap drawer. 🍫🛏️
35. Work on Monday feels like typing with mittens. 🧤⌨️
36. Email: “Hope you had a great weekend!” Me: “I didn’t.” 📨😑
37. Monday work tip: pretend your mouse is broken. 🖱️🤷‍♀️
38. You can’t spell “manic” without “Monday.” 😵‍💫📅
39. Work-life balance = surviving Monday without crying. ⚖️😭
40. Monday’s office theme: fake it till you make it. 🎭🖥️

Funny Monday Blues Quotes 💙😩

1. Monday blues? More like Monday black-and-white. 🖤😵
2. Feeling blue? It must be Monday. 😓📅
3. If Monday had a color, it’d be sad gray. 🩶😔
4. I don’t rise and shine—I groan and whine. 🛏️😩
5. Monday stole my soul. Again. 😵💼
6. Mondays: proof that weekends are too short. 🕒😭
7. I woke up today. That was my first mistake. 😅😴
8. Monday’s theme song? Sad violin. 🎻😢
9. Don’t talk to me—I’m in Monday mourning. 🪦☕
10. Monday is a bad mood with a time slot. 🕘😠
11. Got the Monday blues and no cure in sight. 💊😞
12. My happiness went out with the weekend trash. 🗑️💔
13. I checked out on Sunday night. 💤😑
14. Monday’s just a reminder that dreams end. 💭🛑
15. Monday is emotionally unavailable. 🧊😶
16. The weekend flew. Monday dragged me back. 🛫🪝
17. I can’t even spell “energy” on Mondays. 😩🔡
18. Monday hits like a cold splash of water. 💦😨
19. I need a coffee IV. ☕💉
20. My face on Monday? Just don’t look. 😵‍💫👀
21. Monday should come with a warning sign. ⚠️📆
22. Every Monday feels like a slow-motion car crash. 🚗💥
23. My brain’s still clocked out. 🧠🔌
24. I’m not sad, I’m just Monday-ing. 😐📅
25. Why does Monday feel like betrayal? 🗡️😭
26. Mondays are allergic to joy. 😷😂
27. Monday’s motto: Mood? No good. 🌀😞
28. The only blue I want is the ocean. 🌊💙
29. I don’t hate Mondays—I just wish they didn’t exist. 😤✖️
30. My playlist is just sad songs till Tuesday. 🎶😢
31. Monday took my weekend and never said sorry. 😑🎈
32. No Monday ever started with a smile. 🥲🕘
33. Wake me up when it’s Tuesday. 💤📆
34. The only cure for Monday blues is Friday dreams. 💭🍻
35. I want a refund on Monday. 🧾🛑
36. Mondays are like hangovers with no fun before. 🍻➡️🤕
37. Is “over it” a mood? Because that’s me. 😒🔚
38. The struggle is Monday. The survivor is me. 🧟‍♂️💪
39. If Monday had a face, I’d block it. 🚫👤
40. Not all storms pass. Some are called Monday. 🌧️😩

Funny Monday Survival Quotes 🛡️😂

1. Survived Monday? Add it to your resume. 📄💼
2. One coffee, one prayer, and we fight. ☕🙏⚔️
3. Monday’s tough, but I’m tougher. Kind of. 😤☕
4. Survival tip: don’t open your eyes too fast. 👀🚫
5. Crawl through it. It still counts. 🐌📅
6. If you made it out of bed, you’re winning. 🛏️🏆
7. Power through Monday like it’s made of snacks. 🍿💪
8. Life hack: pretend it’s already Friday. 🧠📅
9. Monday didn’t break me—it just bruised my soul. 😬🖤
10. When in doubt, nap it out. 😴😅
11. First, coffee. Then, fake it. ☕🎭
12. Monday survival mode: On. 🔛💼
13. Mission: make it to lunch. Status: barely. 🕛🤖
14. Smile. Or don’t. Just keep breathing. 😐💨
15. One step at a time—preferably back to bed. 🛌👣
16. My plan? Not die today. 🎯😆
17. Fighting Monday with sarcasm and snacks. 🍪💬
18. This day can’t defeat me… maybe. 🥴🛡️
19. One more hour survived. Reward? More coffee. 🕒☕
20. Wake. Whine. Work. Repeat. 😩🔁
21. You’re stronger than Monday’s nonsense. Maybe. 💪🙃
22. Surviving Monday counts as a workout. 🏋️‍♂️😓
23. No tears. Only yawns. 😪🚫
24. I’m on my fifth “you got this.” 🧠💬
25. Every Monday I lose a little piece of me. 💔😂
26. Monday: fought it, survived it, still hate it. 🥊😡
27. Step 1: Wake up. Step 2: Survive. 📋😴
28. I showed up. That’s enough. 😎✅
29. Don’t let Monday win. Eat a cookie. 🍪😄
30. This too shall pass—slowly. 🕰️😅
31. Smile at Monday like you’re lying. 😁🤥
32. No one’s okay today. You’re not alone. 🤝😩
33. If I can do Monday, I can do anything. 🙌💼
34. Just trying not to lose it before lunch. 🧠🕛
35. Barely alive, still a legend. 🧟‍♀️🏅
36. I made it to work. Miracles happen. ✨😮
37. One more Monday down, 51 to go. 📆🫠
38. I didn’t cry, so that’s a win. 😐🏁
39. Fueled by caffeine and stubbornness. ☕🔥
40. Monday didn’t kill me. Yet. 🧍☠️

Coffee & Monday Quotes That Just Make Sense ☕

1. Coffee: the only reason Monday gets my attention. ☕😴
2. I run on coffee, chaos, and mild panic. ☕🔥
3. Monday’s motto: First coffee, then complain. ☕🙄
4. I speak fluent coffee on Mondays. ☕🗣️
5. No coffee, no talkie. ☕🚫🗣️
6. My Monday blood type is caffeine. ☕🩸
7. Without coffee, I’m just a Monday zombie. ☕🧟
8. I need coffee strong enough to slap Monday. ☕👋
9. Coffee doesn’t ask silly questions—Monday does. ☕🤨
10. On Mondays, coffee is a personality trait. ☕😵
11. Espresso yourself—it’s Monday. ☕😏
12. One cup for survival. Two for sanity. ☕🥴
13. Monday is just coffee’s biggest fan. ☕📅
14. Today’s goal: drink coffee, act human. ☕🧍
15. My alarm clock is fueled by caffeine lies. ⏰☕
16. If coffee had arms, I’d hug it. ☕🤗
17. The best part of Monday? The coffee, duh. ☕💯
18. Coffee is my emotional support liquid. ☕🧸
19. Monday is easier to face with a latte. ☕😊
20. Caffeine is my Monday morning mentor. ☕🎓
21. Coffee before chaos. Always. ☕🌪️
22. Mondays without coffee should be illegal. ☕🚓
23. Coffee: the only Monday motivation I trust. ☕💪
24. I trust coffee more than people on Mondays. ☕😒
25. Let’s get this brew-tal day started. ☕😬
26. Just another manic mocha Monday. ☕🎶
27. Mondays are better with espresso shots. ☕🔫
28. Mondays demand more beans. ☕🫘
29. Coffee isn’t a want—it’s a Monday need. ☕🔋
30. I’m not lazy, I’m on coffee standby. ☕🕐
31. Too early to deal? Sip first. ☕😶‍🌫️
32. A little coffee, a little sarcasm. ☕😏
33. I love Mondays… said no coffee addict ever. ☕😂
34. Monday: the official sponsor of double shots. ☕☠️
35. Without coffee, I’m a Monday mess. ☕🤯
36. Survival plan: brew and breathe. ☕💨
37. Step one: coffee. Step two: cry inside. ☕😭
38. My Monday fuel is 80% coffee, 20% regret. ☕😬
39. The only filter I use on Monday is for coffee. ☕📷
40. Coffee: making Mondays slightly less awful since forever. ☕🕰️

Lazy Monday Quotes for When You Can’t Even 🛌

1. I can’t Monday today. Please reschedule. 😴📅
2. My bed said “don’t go”—so I stayed. 🛏️😌
3. Mentally I’m still in Sunday. 🧠🌞
4. I opened one eye. That’s effort. 😪👁️
5. Not moving. Try again tomorrow. 🛌🔁
6. Do I have to human today? 🧍❌
7. Still buffering… it’s Monday. ⏳💤
8. I woke up. That’s enough work. 🛏️🏆
9. My ambition is still asleep. 😴🎯
10. Productivity left the chat. 📴💬
11. If Monday had a snooze button, I’d hit it all day. 🔁⏰
12. Today’s vibe: horizontal. 🛌📉
13. Monday feels like walking through pudding. 🍮🚶‍♂️
14. I tried to care. I really did. 🥱🙃
15. Can I just nap till Friday? 🛌➡️📆
16. Even my coffee is yawning. ☕🥱
17. My only goal today: breathe. 😮‍💨📋
18. Monday? I thought we canceled that. ❌📅
19. Is it bedtime yet? Asking for me. ⏰😴
20. I’m not lazy—I’m energy-efficient. ⚡🛌
21. You say “rise and shine,” I say “no.” 🙅‍♀️🌞
22. I believe in naps. Especially on Mondays. 😌🛌
23. Can someone do Monday for me? 🙃👀
24. Moving slower than dial-up internet. 🐢🖥️
25. This Monday, I’m a couch potato with Wi-Fi. 🥔📶
26. Don’t rush me—I’m still in dream mode. 💭🕐
27. I’ve hit snooze on my entire life. 🛌🔁
28. I’m not ignoring Monday—I’m just hiding. 🙈📅
29. Dressed for success… in pajamas. 👕🛌
30. My bed has a better personality than Monday. 🛏️😄
31. I’ve made peace with not doing much today. ✌️😌
32. Running on dreams and denial. 💭🚫
33. Not built for Mondays—or anything before noon. 😵🕛
34. Just let me nap this day away. 😪🕘
35. I’m like a laptop stuck on sleep mode. 💻🌙
36. Every Monday should come with a “do not disturb” sign. 🚪🙅
37. This is me pretending to be functional. 🫠💼
38. The grind can wait. I’m cozy. 🛋️☕
39. Still waiting for my Monday motivation delivery. 📦📭
40. Mondays should be optional. Just saying. 💭📆

Dark Humor Monday Quotes 🤡

1. Monday killed my weekend and left no note. 🔪📅
2. My will to live took a sick day. 😵‍💫📆
3. I smiled today. It hurt. 😐🩹
4. Monday: the villain of my mental health. 🧠⚔️
5. I scream internally… all day. 😱🤐
6. It’s Monday, and I’m 97% done with everything. ☠️📈
7. My soul clocked out at 8:01 a.m. 💀🕗
8. Mondays age me in dog years. 🐶⏳
9. I wasn’t born to survive Mondays. 🤕👶
10. Today’s goal: look alive. Just look. 🧟‍♂️😶
11. I’m not dead inside—just Monday’d. 🪦💼
12. That noise you hear? My hope dying. ☠️🔊
13. Monday hit me like a low battery warning. 🔋😫
14. If I vanish on a Monday, don’t look for me. 🕵️🚫
15. Monday is a full-time crisis. 🔥📆
16. I dream of running away… from Mondays. 🏃📅
17. Mondays are my villain origin story. 🦹‍♂️😵
18. Emotionally? I’m under the desk. 🪑🫠
19. If I survive this Monday, it’s by accident. 😐🧷
20. I didn’t choose the Monday life. It attacked me. 🐍📆
21. My face says “fine,” my soul says “nope.” 😐☠️
22. Mondays are weekly reminders that happiness fades. 🖤📆
23. The only thing working today is my anxiety. 😵💼
24. I’d laugh, but it hurts. 😬😂
25. Brain: offline. Spirit: defeated. Monday: undefeated. 😮‍💨🏆
26. Everything hurts, and I blame Monday. 🥲💢
27. Current mood: mute and mildly dead inside. 🫥🧠
28. Monday came in like a wrecking ball. 🧱😵
29. Plot twist: I never made it out of bed. 🛌📖
30. If sarcasm burned calories, I’d be ripped by noon. 💪🥲
31. I hit rock bottom. Monday brought a shovel. 🕳️⛏️
32. I’m fine. Totally fine. It’s just Monday… again. 🫠☕
33. If Monday had a scent, it’d be burnt toast and despair. 🍞😒
34. I’d cry, but I’m too tired. 😴😢
35. A little dead inside. A lot over Monday. 💀😵‍💫
36. Who needs horror movies when Monday exists? 🎥😱
37. My body is present. My soul? Not so much. 😶‍🌫️🏢
38. Monday showed up like an uninvited ex. 🚪😤
39. If you need me, I’m hiding in the coffee pot. ☕🏃‍♂️
40. Monday is where dreams go to die. 💭⚰️

Conclusion

Mondays are tough. A little humor helps.

Pick a quote. Share a laugh. Feel better.

Come back next week—we’ll still be here, making Mondays less awful.

FAQs

What are some funny Monday quotes to start the week?

Funny Monday quotes help start the week with a smile and less stress.

Can a good laugh really brighten your day on Monday?

Yes. A good laugh can brighten your day and boost your mood fast.

Why do people look for funny quotes on Mondays?

Because little humor helps people feel better when Mondays hit hard.

Where can I find funny Monday quotes?

You can find funny Monday quotes online, in books, or on social media.

How can humor make Monday better?

Humor can make stress feel smaller and lighten the mood right away.

Are there quotes to make Mondays feel less awful?

Yes. Many quotes to make you smile or laugh are perfect for Mondays.

What are sarcastic Monday quotes?

They poke fun at how bad Mondays feel—but in a funny, relatable way.

Do motivational Monday quotes help too?

Yes. Motivational Monday quotes give a push to get moving again.

How do funny quotes help lighten the mood?

They take your mind off the stress and bring a quick laugh.

Are there happy Monday funny quotes?

Yes. Happy Monday funny quotes mix joy and humor to lift your spirits.